did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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