I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
