is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
