when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
