Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
