My room smells like vodka and shame
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
