i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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