i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
