Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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