so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
