I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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