Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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