I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Drake has all the answers
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
