i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She's the barista slut.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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