i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize