This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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