I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
