so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
