Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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