scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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