u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
