: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The air was thick with penises
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
