I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
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you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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