Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
