Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
