I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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