When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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