you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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