The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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