best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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