My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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