you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize