dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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