let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
