did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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