Your dad touched me again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
