I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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