When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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