i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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