I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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