Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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