Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize