so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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