so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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