how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
