Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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