I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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