David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
