good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
