I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
