I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
