i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
