I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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