Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
