you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
