I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
