but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
