"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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