butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
