I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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