Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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