can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize