Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
