Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize