can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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