hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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