umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize