hotel room ftw
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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