You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
