We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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