she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
